Squad Leaves Behind Third Member Who Won’t Stop Pinging Mozambiques

Sorry, xShadowSlapper87x, you made it immediately obvious that you were going to be a problem when you broke off from your teammates during the drop-in and now this? No thank you.

This is the fourth round of Apex that Diego and Stacey have played together tonight, and every third squad member has been garbage so far. The first person left during the drop-in, the second went straight for the supply ship and died as soon as they got in, and the last one was clearly playing for the first time because they recklessly picked up every item in the vicinity and wasted all their ammo testing out every gun, resulting in the squad getting found and killed very quickly. Now, worst of all, is xShadowSlapper87x and the endless Mozambiques.

The circle has already shrunk for the first time and xShadowSlapper87x hasn’t stopped. “Mozambique here,” they ping. “Mozambique here,” they ping again. And again. And again. Not once have Stacey or Diego indicated they want different weapons, but the shit-pings are as ceaseless as game publishers’ demands for microtransactions.

Diego still has a level one helmet and Stacey’s rocking a level two backpack, but xShadowSlapper87x is fully decked out in level three gear, focusing on finding Mozambiques for their squad instead of better equipment. If only-- wait-- what’s going on? Is xShadowSlapper87x in combat? Yes! Yes they are! Oh, oh and they’re down! “Now’s our chance,” Diego and Stacey shout together, running in the opposite direction of their fallen comrade. There’s still plenty of time before the circle closes, but resurrecting xShadowSlapper87x is too great a risk, not because of the exposure but because of the pings that would surely return.

The pings...

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