Game Developers Promise No New Battle Royale Titles for 2019

In a joint statement written by Activision, Ubisoft, Epic, Konami, Square Enix, Bluehole, EA, Rockstar, et al, game developers are assuring us that no battle royale projects are currently in the works for the upcoming year.

“The important thing to remember is that none of us are greedy,” writes Epic Games CEO, Tim Sweeney, in one paragraph of the statement. “Couldn’t agree more,” CEO of Electronic Arts, Andrew Wilson, adds. “At this point I think all of us who have dipped into the battle royale pot have made enough money, and those of us who haven’t added any titles to the mix are happy to continue watching rather than join in,” Sweeney elaborates.

The announcement comes as a surprise - to be sure, but a welcome one - to anyone who follows news outlets that even only occasionally post about gaming as they’ve all spent 2018 sucking Fortnite’s dick - with the occasional pity handjob for PUBG. It sounds too good to be true, but developers big and small pinky promise that 2019 will be a year of original IPs rather than airdropping into the battle royale bandwagon. Those already in the market mentioned as part of the announcement that they will not be adding additional content to the existing titles.

“I think our game works as is,” explains Robert Kotick, CEO of Activision. “A game like Call of Duty doesn’t really need additional maps or content, so why spend money continuing to develop something that the fans are already one hundred percent satisfied with? We’d have to charge them for that extra content and that’s not something we, as a company, want to do in 2019.”

After the chaos that was 2018, the assurance of no new battle royale may finally grant everyone the chance to breathe. Children will be able to focus in class again, Twitch channels will diversify their content, and KFC can reclaim its rightful place on the chicken dinner throne. As usual, game developers are doing their best to meet the expectations and desires of their fans rather than find the easiest avenue for quick profit.

We gamers truly are spoiled.

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