Threatened by Kassandra's Incredible Biceps, Gamers Return Assassin's Creed Odyssey in Drove

Despite universal praise for the latest entry in the Assassin's Creed franchise, Ubisoft stock has begun to plummet with players deeming the game's female lead too emasculating.

Retailers, everywhere, are panicked, unable to handle the number of returns currently being processed. Walmart and Best Buy have gone so far as to stop taking back the game all together, using the review scores to justify rejecting returns. Speaking to CNBC, Public Relations Manager for Best Buy Gaming, Katrina Felix, elaborated a bit more on the decision.

“Everyone agrees Odyssey is fantastic,” she said. “The fact that so many male gamers are too self-conscious to appreciate the experience shouldn't mean we have to lose money, but we want to be supportive of our customers, of course. With that in mind, we've started giving out free, 30-day trials to Planet Fitness to anyone who comes in to return the game. So far everyone we've offered it to has yelled at us, but, you know, that's customer service.”

One of those insecure men, Todd Mitchell, was able to return his copy of Odyssey before the bans hit, taking to social media to air his grievances with the game:

“The problem with Origins was all the fantasy elements,” he rants in a Facebook post, foolishly unaware of the sleep-inducing swords and flaming horses that used to control the battlefields of ancient Egypt. “Now we have Odyssey which could have been a great game save for the historical inaccuracy that ruins the whole experience. Guns were not even close to existing around 400 BCE, yet there Kassandra is, packing two of them. What an egregious oversight on Ubisoft's part.”

This is the second time this year the developer has been on thin ice with fans. During June's E3 coverage gamers were startled to learn that there would be little-to-no Rabbids integration with upcoming Ubisoft titles. If these frustrating things keep happening there may be no other option but a complete leadership shakeup for the once-respected company.

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