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Health Inspector Shuts Down Bethesda's New Restaurant Due to Numerous Bugs

August 3, 2018


We probably should have seen this coming, but you'll have to cancel your reservations for Che Tamriel this weekend – the place is lousy with bugs.


In a devastating blow to the video game developer, Bethesda's recently-opened restaurant has been served an F-rating from the local health inspector. The Elder Scrolls-inspired establishment was open a mere two days before diners stopped showing up, frustrated by the number of bugs ruining their experience. Head Chef, Todd Howard, was quick to issue a statement:


“Here at Che Tamriel we've tried our best to deliver a rich, exciting journey, unique to every diner. Our team is dedicated to delivering flavor and eliminating frustrations, but with the scale of our menu, sometimes we miss things. Though the results of the health inspection are disappointing, we're not giving up. Starting next week we're releasing a powerful fumigation blast to remove bugs that we missed in our initial taste-testing sessions. We hope you'll come by, after, and try some of our signature dishes like the Fus Ro Dumplings, Skoomatzo Ball Soup, or Mudcrab Cakes.”


Some eager patrons – familiar with the Bethesda's track record – have taken it upon themselves to create their own spray in case the developer's fumigation leaves some lingering bugs. How they'll deploy their formula in a privately-owned restaurant is anyone's guess, but if they can pull it off it's likely to result in happier consumers. Most likely Bethesda will then find a way to monetize the user-created concoction, improving their restaurant with the hard work of outside sources.

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