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EA Willing to Make Skate 4 if Shirtless Dude at Skate Park Can Land a Single Trick

July 8, 2018


Fans disheartened by the lack of announcement at this year's E3 will have a reason to celebrate if Patrick can land a kickflip for once in his goddamned life.


All we need is for you to do this one thing, man. Like, all our hopes are riding on you. I know your whole thing is sitting around and talking about vaping until some girls walk by and then you get up to try some moves in front of them you always mess up, but get serious, dog. EA is promising us Skate 4 and they've never let us down before, so please do this for us, Patrick.


If you can pull this off then you can go back to pretending you know how to skate and the rest of us can play the game we've been waiting for. Even better, if you make this happen I'll buy you some chili fries and let you play all the shitty EDM tracks you've been working on. Hell, I'll even follow your SoundCloud account. So, do we have a deal?

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