A deadly rally, KKK flyers being passed door-to-door, Steve Bannon still lurking somewhere like the trash compactor monster. Rather than deal with these issues or vote for diverse candidates, gamers are, as usual, taking to the internet to complain and do nothing else.
“I wanted a racist cult to empathize with,” writes Cody Collins, 28, sitting at his desk, hurriedly scrolling by a report of yet another black man shot 872 times by police for walking by a group of white people. “Instead we get a story about these other real-life problems of people stockpiling military-grade weapons and using religion to justify hurting people.”
Collins isn't alone. Players and reviewers everywhere want to know what happened to the racism they were never promised. Many, like Ernie Sandberg, 33, were counting on Ubisoft to give players a game that would let them not solve real-world problems but feel better anyway.
“I don't understand what happened,” whines Sandberg. “We were shown an exciting trailer at E3 that made zero reference to white supremacists and clearly showed black people in the cult, but I'm shocked.”
When asked if developers should be hiring more women and people of color to create more diverse stories, he said, “I'm sick of everyone turning everything into identity politics. I don't vote. I just want a game where I can kill fake racists so people know I'm an ally.”
Despite work on the game beginning in 2013, white gamers who didn't care about racism before the presidential election are insisting Ubisoft should have written a story that would absolve their white guilt. Weeks after the game's release, gamers are hoping for a patch or re-skin that will make enemies look like GOP members and white nationalist leaders.
Issues like this are all too common in a country where we expect entertainment to slowly make change so we can stay on the couch and scream about injustice. Hopefully Ubisoft will get it together for the next installment in the series and do the work we pretend to do with social media.
David Duke could not be reached for shitty comments.