The news delivered here is supposed to focus on video games, but it doesn't seem right to ignore the harrowing round of Match Pairs that Attorney General Jeff Sessions has been stuck playing for the last 32 hours.
Two. That's all you need to match. Just two. Of course, you have to repeat that process several times to complete the game in its entirety, but let's at least get the ball rolling, okay, Jeff? It's been almost a day and a half and you can't remember where both the torches are, despite having flipped both of them a dozen times in the last two hours alone. Why is your memory so terrible?
I can't shout any of these feelings at him, of course, because the game is part of a closed-doors session and the only press allowed inside is from Moscow. But goddamn if I'm going to keep quiet about this!
You hear me, Jeff?! You're ruining the flow of the game!