Glen, Who Only Plays Final Fantasy, Would Like a New Pair of Fingerless Gloves for His Birthday

You know, Glen, right? He's the one still frosting his tips and wearing that Naruto sweatband on his wrist. Yeah, him. His birthday is coming up and he knows what he wants.

Listen, I didn't invite him to this party, and neither did you, but he knows you best, so as far as everyone else here is concerned, you two are pals. Right now he's in the living room playing Final Fantasy on his GBA with the volume alllll the way up while people are trying to talk. I'd love if you could quietly get him out of here so the rest of us can have a good time.

Don't get me wrong, I like Glen; he's a good kid. But at some point he needs to find another area of interest if he wants to keep coming to these social gatherings. I won't have another potluck where he dominates the conversation with Final Fantasy lore. I just won't have it.

His birthday is coming up and we both know how much he wants those fingerless gloves from Hot Topic, so I'll give you my card to use. Just say they're from both of us and convince him to come around less often, please.

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